Sickly Rose ``Zachie``

[Rosiel "Rose" Kadamon]

Rosiel held the trashcan, cuddling it to his stomach, as he vomited again. Coughing for air, another retch from him gave more disgusting goop to fall into the trashcan. Frantically trying to be calm, he cought his breath, his stomach empty for the hour. Soon, he would have to puke up any remaining things in his stomach. The thought of it made bile raise up in his throat.

Wiping his mouth on a towel by his bedside, he untucked his carefully styled hair from his ears. Groaning, he laid back on his bed.
He certainly wouldn't be able to practice anytime soon. He hoped, though, that this was a mere 24-hour sickness. He couldn't wait for an excuse to see Zachie....

Oh, Merciful Lord! All these confusing feelings for Zachie made Rose clutch his scalp, sickness forgotten. It was a constant battle between his religion and his sexuality.

Sighing in defeat, he laid back down on the bed, eyes closed. He tried to focus on nothing but breathing in and breathing out. He was so concentrated, he didn't even notice someone had entered the room.

[Zachary "Zachie" Yates]

Zachary Yates, a strange boy to say the least, sat on his bed in the dorm he shared with his band mate, Rose. Ah, how he loved Rose. He knew he loved the singer. And he even knew about Rose's issue. The religion he was forced to accept, or the sexuality that plagued him, yet couldn't let rear it's head. The boy, Zachie, knew that his friend was gay, but he knew not of who it was directed at.

It was almost twenty minutes before the boy decided on a plan of action. He rose from the bed, grabbed a guitar case that, get this, had a guitar. Zachie knew how to play a lot of instruments, but the drums were located in the back of the stage, hardly anyone knew the drummer existed, this was why the sophomore joined Foolish Fire as the drummer and not a guitar. Only one person ever heard him play or sing. And that was Rose.

Soon the sixteen year old found himself in the Health Ward of the school. Rose had gone there in the middle of the night. Zachie stood beside the other boy's bed. He looked down on his angelic features. One kiss wouldn't hurt, right? He'd never know, he was asleep right? Of curse he was. He obviously was.

Zachie leaned forward. He could hear Rose's breathing. It wasn't the same as when he slept. Nope, no kiss now. the sophomore was slightly saddened. He couldn't stand up now without a reason. "You look like hell, Rose," Zachie lied convincingly. "Like seriously. You look like Hell frozen over."

[Rosiel "Rose" Kadamon]

Rosiel became aware of footsteps in the room, only because the pattern, like dancing, was recognizable. He was about to get up to greet Zach, but Rose's eyes almost flew open at the breath he felt on his face but he kept them closed, anticipating.
He must have looked asleep, hadn't he? What if Zach always kissed him when he slept? Rosiel's mind ran rampid with jolting, jumping thoughts.

But, as he felt Zachie's breath move away from him, his mood deflated. The words he spoke only proved that Zach was studying Rose's pale, sickly face only further.

Lips quirking, upturned in a weak smile, hiding dissapointment, Rose openedone eye. And what an eyeful it was.

"Yeah, well, to be fair, I'm pretty sure there was some blood in that last batch." He shrugged, his lip ring jingling with his smile.
His gaze traveled to the guitar Zachie held, and was suddenly pleasently puzzled.

"Dude, what's with the guitar?" He asked softly, sitting up to stroke the strings. Rose looked up to smile at Zachie. Usually, he preferred to be recognized at the drummer, not the guitarist.

[Zachary "Zachie" Yates]

"That's good. Means you're only a few hours away frm seeing your stomach. Not as cool as getting yo see your brain, but It'll have to do," Zachie said with a small grin as he sat on one of the chairs. He had to hand it to the school. I was like a mini hospital room. Comfy chairs and all.

The raven haired boy held up the guitar and shrugged. "Miss Know-It-All-Nurse said you couldn't have loud music. That ruled out any of the CD's in our room. But I knew you'd go bonkers without some kind of music. So I brought this," he said lifting the guitar.

He smiled softly again. He hid well that he was kinda sad Rose was actually awake. He wanted that kiss. Not that he'd have told anyone. He was still, as they said, in the closet. A few letters written by his sister and sent to him under some fictional girl's name. It fooled most everyone.

"I can play something for you, if you want," Zachary said stroking the sides of the guitar gently.

[Rosiel "Rose" Kadamon]

Rose sat up straighter, smiling. Even though it pained him, he hid his wince as he leaned over closer to Zachie.
"I dunno, the stomach is pretty sick. You know, it's all cushioned inside if you cut it open?" He grinned, leaning closer to Zachie.
"Gotta watch out for the stomach acid, though. I hear it's somehow bad for the flesh." His tone was the aloof, bland sarcasm it became when he was joking. Yet how he longed to utter soft words to his raven....

The grin on his lips made his bright eyes crinkle.
"Eh, fuck the nurse. I tried to put on some Cinema Bizarre, but she bitched me out." Rosiel shrugged, tossing his hand in the air.
"But," He said, his grin returning as he gazed into the mesmerizing blue orbs Zachie owned, "I'd like to hear you play."
Rose's and clutched his stomach in pain, but he continued to smile at Zachie.

He wished he could be truthful with his feelings for Zachie, but it would be going to far. He would betray God, and betray Zach. There was the possibility he felt the same, but Rose couldn't allow himself to hope that way.

[Zachary "Zachie" Yates]

Zachie winced when Rose grabbed his stomach. The boy wanted to rush to him and hug him. Tell him it was going to be alright. That he'd get better really soon and then they'd ride off into the sunset.

Zachie shook his head at this thought. That was impossible. Too many things stood in the way. And besides, Rose didn't know Zachie liked him, and the raven haired boy wasn't sure the sickly boy in bed liked him at all. It was a sad sad circle.

The boy with the guita nodded slowly. Setting the wooden guitar in his lap he egan to playa soft slow melody. It sounded almost like a lullaby. "When I look in to your eyes I see the life; The life I want, the one when you're around; People try to stand in our way; but in truth, there's only one; You're all I need; So tell me you'll be around when I think of you," he sang in his low sweet voice. Next came the chorus, "What does it take to get me in your arms? My dreams say that we'll be together, now I'm not so sure. But at least I can say I love you."

The song continued on through three verses. Zachie spent night after night writing the song the he sang out passionately to the boy it was written for. But Zachie never told Rose that. And it was likely, he never would.

[Rosiel "Rose" Kadamon]

Rosiel raised an eyebrow at Zachie's wince, but said nothing of it. Besides, he wanted to hear this Raven play.
His lips grew into a splintered smile, one which stretched to hsi eyes, lighting them up like downtown lights. His ears listened to the beautiful melody, all of his attention focused on Zachie.

His thoughts drifted, of course. Even if it seems impossible to lift his mind from the sweet sadness of his song, Zachie suddenly worried about it ending. How long did he have to savor it?
And, of course, he began to grow self conscious. His eyes still focused on the notes Zachie strummed, he reached up a hand to run his long, calloused fingers through his dyed hair, combing it. Rosiel, feeling his face grow warmer, stopped to listen to the bittersweet, longing melody.

Once Zachie was done, Rosiel's grin grew wider and he put his hands together, clapping for Zachie.
"Damn, Zachie! You should be lead singer. Your voice would put me out of buisness, and I'd have to learn how to play drums," He laughed, admiring Zachie.
He almost leaped over to hug him, but stopped himself just in time. Biting his full lower lip, he looked sheepishly at Zach.

"I'd hug you, but I'd bet I smell fucking rancid," Rose made up an excuse, but this was only halfway true. He didn't want to hug Zachie for two reasons. One, it would just be a mess of emotions, and a mess of betrayl. Two, it would be too painful for Rose when they pulled away.

[Zachary "Zachie" Yates]

Zachie laughed a little bit. It was far from the truth. Rose didn't smell bad at all. He smelled sweet, like the rose his nickname came from. The raven haored boy stood and set the guitar on the chair.

"Rose," he began moving over and sitting on the bed beside his love. "Can I tell you something?" Zachie asked. "Something no one but my sister knows?" It wasn't hard to know who he was talking about when he said 'my sister'. Clara was the only girl out of the Yates children. The rest of them were boys. But Clara was one of the oldest children at 19 only the first set of twins and Jeremy were older. And not by much.

Zachary looked down at the pale blue bed linens. "Rose, I-I wrote that song for the guy I l-umm-love. I l-love him more than anything in this world. I love him more than anyone in this universe could ever imagine. But I don't know if he l-l-loves me. He's really religious. B-but his religion, it doesn't let him be with me," he was tripping over his words in nervousness. Ho do you tell your room and bandmate that you're head over heals in love with you? Easy.

"Rosiel, I wrote that song for you."

[Rosiel "Rose" Kadamon]

Rosiel's mouth went dry as sandpaper as Zachie sat down next to him. His fingers itched to have any excuse to touch Zachie. His proximity was intoxicating to Rose. He was like a drug; and the very presence of it was addicting.

Rose's features slackened into tense curiousity, witholding wonder and worry.
"Zachie, you can tell me anything," Rosiel said to him, leaning foreward, his words dripping with care. What could this be about? What happened to Zach? Was he hurt?
If anyone had laid a hand on this beautiful Raven, Rosiel swore he'd kill anyone who--

But it was nothing of the sort. Rosiel shambled his way past the stuttering, trying to find the words Zachie spoke. His breath became shallower and hsi mouth drier as Zachie continued on, and by the time Zachie had confessed teh song was written for him, Rosiel had stopped breathing all together.

He was frozen in place. Not for long, though. Witha whoosh of breath, Rosiel uttered Zachie's name, and threw his arms around the boy. Resting his cheek on Zachie's shoulder, tears cascaded from his bright blue eyes.

"Zachie, I've loved you more than I can bear since we met." He whispered, his voice growing in intenisity with every word.
He pulled his face up to look at Zachie with tear filled eyes.
"If we love each other, that should be enough for Him." Rose told Zachie, his words slipping through trembling lips.

[Zachary "Zachie" Yates]

Zachary felt all nervousness leave him when Rose hugged him. He couldn't help but smile slightly to himself. Rose loved him too? It was almost too muh to bear.

Zachie looked directly into Rose's eyes. "I love you, Rosiel Kadamon," he whispered before his body took over what his head was thinking. Soon the raven haired boy's lips were pressed against Rose's in a loving and passionate kiss.

Zachie's arms wrapped around Rose's waist softly, careful not to hurt the still sick boy. Soon, to soon for his taste, Zachie pulled from the kiss and looked at Rose. "Rose, I love you more than you'll ever know," he whispered.

[Rosiel "Rose" Kadamon]

As tears escaped from Rosiel's eyes, they were tears of mixed emotion. Tears of joy, because he was holding the most wonderful boy he'd ever known in his arms. Tears of regret for the words he had spoken. Rose loved Zachie, of course that was true, but now he wasn't so sure that God would accept this. Rosiel was not afraid of hell, but the punishment of God not loving him. Rose was commiting a sin; this was undeniable.
And finally, tears of misery. For soon, he would have to break it to Zach that they couldn't be together. It was enough that Rose had sinned, but he would not allow Zach to face the same fate as being unloved by God.
But not now. Anytime but now. Rose felt he needed just some moments to be able to store in his memory of oth of them together. If they had just a minute of time together, their feelings for each other naked, stored in Rosiel's mind, he could die happy.

And witht his in mind, he allowedhis lips to caress Zachie's softly, gently, yet desparately. He longed for them as Zach pulled away, for Rosiel knew he could only allow this one kiss.
Their blue eyes, varying shades, connected. Rosiel's eye had been stripped of their misery and replaced with an empty hollowness, due to a herculean amount of effort from Rose.

Rosiel was doing this all for Zachie's sake. Because no matter what, this boy, whom Rosiel loved more than anythign or anyone in this Universe, could never face the fate of beign one of God's unloved children. Zachie was going to Heaven no matter what it took. Rosiel could not allow his eternity to be spent in a realm of fire.
"I love you so much, I'd risk my immortal soul, my happiness, my entire life for you." Rosiel whispered, and decided these could be the kindest words he could speak to Zachie from now on.
"And I am," Rosiel murmured.

Rosiel pulled himself from Zachie, faking a shy smile on his face.
"Zachie, I wouldn't want to get you sick," He giggled, the hollowness and angony he felt inside completely undetectable.